Dear Black Man...Dear Black Woman: An Open Letter Between Us

Dear Black Man,

All I ever wanted from you is to take your place as my King. Be the man that you are called to be, responsible, trustworthy, reliable, inspirational. Lead our family, be the head. Make sound decisions. Be a caretaker. Be a provider.

Dear Black Woman

I am your King and never forget that God himself pulled you from my rib.

God himself made you to be my companion and to be there for me. To mother our kids, comfort and cherish me and develop a union under him. I will and do always respect you and I am the leader of the family, but sometimes things get rough and I’m going to need your support and kind words, never to shoot me down because day after day I go out and put forth the effort to provide for us.

Dear Black Man,

All I ever wanted from you is to be treated like a Queen. I want to be loved and desired. I want to be honored and respected, to be cherished and admired. I need for you to support me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We are your mothers, your grandmothers, your aunts, your sisters, your daughters, and your lovers. The world looks at how black men value black women and follow suit. If you don't honor and respect us first, why should anyone else?


Black Woman,

You are my queen. I do love you. I respect, adore cherish you. I love that you bear my children, you nurtured me as a mother, and you raised me with respect and with valor. I will not forget the times you wiped my tears away, struggled to make ends meet. Know that you have created a strong black man in this world. The world will never know or understand how much i value and treasure you.

Black man, all I ever wanted from you is to be understood. Understand my plight. Understand that my frustration come from desperation, not bitterness. Understand that what you initially see as anger is just disguised pain. Understand that when I yell and bicker it is only a cry for help, a plea for attention. Understand that I am strong but there will be times when I fall apart. All I want from you is to be there to pick up the pieces and tell me it’s going to be alright. Understand my needs, my desires, my wants, my aspirations. Support me. Have a vested interest in where I am and where I want to be. Celebrate my successes and help me learn from my mistakes.

The only thing to understand is what’s yours is ours, and vice versa. Your frustrations are ours, your desperations and pain is ours. All I ask is that you communicate these things to me so we can solve the problems and move on. As far as support, I’m your cheerleader, you need to know that. Sometimes when I am silent it’s because I’m listening and understanding, not ignoring you! I want us to build that solid foundation to be able to win! And trust me I can hold us down while you chase your aspirations and dreams, just like you did for me!

Black Man,

All I ever wanted from you is to be a father to our children. If you are in the home, realize that being present means more than just taking up physical space. Equally share the responsibilities from the child rearing, to household chores, to the bills, to the emotional well being of the family. If you aren't in the home, black man, understand how detrimental your absence can be for your sons, your daughters, and the mothers you leave behind to pick up the pieces. Through you our sons learn how to be a man, how to be responsible, how to treat and respect women, and how to love. Through you, our daughters learn how man should act, how a man should respect and treat a lady, and how to be loved by a man. You are the crux of the black family. You set the standard. You set the expectation.

Well baby, if you feel like that, then listen when I make a decision whether right or wrong, if I’m wrong then show me the reasons why and stop screaming negativity instead of discussions. I do lose my path sometimes, but we all do. I will never just take up space. I have children to provide for and be their father, their soldier, and their hero. My mama didn’t raise a slouch; I can cook, clean and pay bills with the best of them. Just because we don’t have a Benz or a million dollar home doesn’t mean that you and our family isn’t worth a million because every time I look into your eyes, i remember why I put that ring on your finger, how we planned to have it all and in our own way we do. Like you want me to take a vested interest in you, do the same with me!!! Play those silly X-box games as you call them with me! Watch a ball game like you want me to experience a Broadway play with you… let’s live life, together. Me you and our family and do those things to bring us closer. Pray with me. Let’s go to church instead of a club. Let’s take the children to see things they have never seen before... I understand… and I hope you do too

This letter is not meant to bash or belittle you, but I am writing this letter in hopes of opening the lines of communication between us. I am hoping that somewhere in these words, you see things from my perspective and know that it is coming from my heart. It is my wish that we can stop these cycles of abusive relationships. It is my wish that we can stop placing the blame and start working on ourselves. I hope that we can be faithful and loving toward one another. It is my wish that we can build together, that we can raise up strong, intelligent, beautiful black babies. It is my wish that we can someday be happy....together.

Sincerely,

The Black Woman

  The lines of communication are open. I am responding because I care, as a Black Man I would never even think or physical or emotional abuse, it’s far beyond me and if someone ever did that to my mother or daughter or even you. They will have a serious problem to answer to.

As I said before… black queen, I adore you. I cherish you, you are amazing and to me… I only see you. Let’s end the cycle of abuse as you said. It’s time to build and foster healthier relationships. I will always be there for you black woman

Sincerely

The Black Man